Maybe we just don't understand each other that well after all.
You have your set of problems at work, I have mine in school. We hardly even meet except for Fridays and Wednesdays. Honestly, I find it hard to put myself in your shoes and try to feel exactly what you're going through because over at my side, I'm drained.
Poly life isnt just fun and games and you probably wont know the stress that comes with being in a poly because you studied in a JC and likewise, I wont understand what it feels like to be a JC student.
The paths we walked are so different, yet, they've crossed, and here we are. The way things are going now, is making everything more difficult. Its come to a point where I feel lost and hopeless.
All the times you went on and on about not having confidence, you cant do this, you cant do that, I repeated the same things to you over and over again. Till it came to a point where it just wasnt sensible to repeat everything once more.
I've seen the effort you put into this and I appreciate it. Knowing how difficult it is over at your side of the family and the stuff you go through day in day out, and yet you still try.
You know, someone once told me," It will be different after her exams." Somehow, similarities still glare back at me. Each day I hope to see something different, a change. But I'm still waiting. We've drifted apart because of our daily activities and neither of us can be blamed. Its not as if you enjoy going to work so much or I love going to school so much.
I do have a life to live as well. I know you need the attention and I know you need me to just listen to what you have to say, but sometimes its so difficult when you just go on and on about almost every single detail during the day. I try my best to listen but its not easy when you mumble half the time. I'd like to tell you what I've been through in school, but I just dont know how to.
I remember showing you the photos I took in Australia when you were over at my place. You flipped through the albums and you didnt seem to think any of them were nice. Your comments didnt give me the impression either. Nevertheless, I thought maybe you didnt know how to appreciate photography, but deep inside, I was hurt. I was hoping you'd be proud of me at least. Even though you told me that you were proud of me a few weeks after that, the hurt still remained.
Every time we talk on the phone nowadays, we seem to go on about the same things every single time. Its become as shallow as that. The only reason why I make the effort to call you in the afternoon sometimes, be it once or twice, is because I care. The past few weeks of school have been fucking crap.
Seriously, I dont exactly like the feeling of having to rush a friggin business plan, stay up all night doing research, staying in school till 9pm to do work, photoshopping an A2 sized calender, preparing for presentations and study for tests which come at stupid times. Its really draining and I mean it when I tell you that I'm tired.
Obviously work can be equally as tiring, maybe even more tiring than school. But that is as much as I can take this semester. I really really want to have a good holiday and just recharge.
I'm letting all this out now because I think you should know. I want to be able to talk to you in person. This blog just serves as a way to put down my thoughts but problems like these cant be solved online. Not in the past, not in the present.
Its time we did something, because this relationship hasn't grown much. I'm troubled. If we dont start now, we'll never do it.
You have your set of problems at work, I have mine in school. We hardly even meet except for Fridays and Wednesdays. Honestly, I find it hard to put myself in your shoes and try to feel exactly what you're going through because over at my side, I'm drained.
Poly life isnt just fun and games and you probably wont know the stress that comes with being in a poly because you studied in a JC and likewise, I wont understand what it feels like to be a JC student.
The paths we walked are so different, yet, they've crossed, and here we are. The way things are going now, is making everything more difficult. Its come to a point where I feel lost and hopeless.
All the times you went on and on about not having confidence, you cant do this, you cant do that, I repeated the same things to you over and over again. Till it came to a point where it just wasnt sensible to repeat everything once more.
I've seen the effort you put into this and I appreciate it. Knowing how difficult it is over at your side of the family and the stuff you go through day in day out, and yet you still try.
You know, someone once told me," It will be different after her exams." Somehow, similarities still glare back at me. Each day I hope to see something different, a change. But I'm still waiting. We've drifted apart because of our daily activities and neither of us can be blamed. Its not as if you enjoy going to work so much or I love going to school so much.
I do have a life to live as well. I know you need the attention and I know you need me to just listen to what you have to say, but sometimes its so difficult when you just go on and on about almost every single detail during the day. I try my best to listen but its not easy when you mumble half the time. I'd like to tell you what I've been through in school, but I just dont know how to.
I remember showing you the photos I took in Australia when you were over at my place. You flipped through the albums and you didnt seem to think any of them were nice. Your comments didnt give me the impression either. Nevertheless, I thought maybe you didnt know how to appreciate photography, but deep inside, I was hurt. I was hoping you'd be proud of me at least. Even though you told me that you were proud of me a few weeks after that, the hurt still remained.
Every time we talk on the phone nowadays, we seem to go on about the same things every single time. Its become as shallow as that. The only reason why I make the effort to call you in the afternoon sometimes, be it once or twice, is because I care. The past few weeks of school have been fucking crap.
Seriously, I dont exactly like the feeling of having to rush a friggin business plan, stay up all night doing research, staying in school till 9pm to do work, photoshopping an A2 sized calender, preparing for presentations and study for tests which come at stupid times. Its really draining and I mean it when I tell you that I'm tired.
Obviously work can be equally as tiring, maybe even more tiring than school. But that is as much as I can take this semester. I really really want to have a good holiday and just recharge.
I'm letting all this out now because I think you should know. I want to be able to talk to you in person. This blog just serves as a way to put down my thoughts but problems like these cant be solved online. Not in the past, not in the present.
Its time we did something, because this relationship hasn't grown much. I'm troubled. If we dont start now, we'll never do it.