I never really felt like being around anybody today. It just felt so emotionless, so monotonous. Hardly spoke a word unless I needed to. I'm really tired. At least i managed to get some work off my hands today during break.
Well, sometimes just being away from people feels really good. To just be alone, doing work in the mac lab just now, felt really good.
Anyway, thanks guys for letting me know. Never really noticed it about myself but it might abit of a bad habit from sec school or just me randomly stoning, especially when I'm tired. Oh well, at least you let me know now so i can do something about it right away.
But it really made me think, maybe being born without eyes would have been better. Then I wouldnt have to bother about deciphering colours and what not. I wish I never had to open my eyes every morning knowing they just aren't normal and that nothing can be dont about it. I iwsh I never had to wander in a world of clours I don't know of. I wish i never had to look aimlessly and seem like I'm doing something else. Or am I really at it? Even so, I wish I wasn't at it.
I never found it easy when I first realised I was colour blind. I couldnt train properly during soccer back in St. Pat's. I couldnt do my chemistry praticals properly. I couldnt design my D&T artefact without people having to help with pick the shades of brown and green. I couldnt read colour coding. I couldnt even tell the colour of my surroundings. Though its slightly better now, its still a struggle for me at times.
If only I didnt make it when I was born. For those of you who don't know, I almost never became the guy you know today because of some complications after I was born. I don't know whats God's plan for me. But I really do wish I never made it. I've always felt I was a nuisance since young and that mentality hasnt changed much.
I've always told myself to see the positives in life, but now I just can't feel the same emotions that pushed me to think positive. There's just so many things lacking in my life right now and I don't feel as if I'm equal to many of you. I just keep doubting myself, doubting my self confidence.
Maybe not being a part of you guys would make life easier for everyone. I screwed up in so many aspects already. Maybe thats best for everyone. I don't wanna be the fucker that breaks up everything you guys have. The feeling sucks so much I wish none of you ever got to know me in the first place.
I'm just so tired that I dont even know what I'm doing. I'm sorry I breached your trust. It was my mistake and it slipped my mind that you didnt tell him about it. I probably can't do anything to regain your trust now, and you've definately got the right to be pissed with me.
I dont want to wake up feeling this way, but I guess it isnt going to change at all.
These eyes, I wish I never had...
This life, I wish I never lived.
Well, sometimes just being away from people feels really good. To just be alone, doing work in the mac lab just now, felt really good.
Anyway, thanks guys for letting me know. Never really noticed it about myself but it might abit of a bad habit from sec school or just me randomly stoning, especially when I'm tired. Oh well, at least you let me know now so i can do something about it right away.
But it really made me think, maybe being born without eyes would have been better. Then I wouldnt have to bother about deciphering colours and what not. I wish I never had to open my eyes every morning knowing they just aren't normal and that nothing can be dont about it. I iwsh I never had to wander in a world of clours I don't know of. I wish i never had to look aimlessly and seem like I'm doing something else. Or am I really at it? Even so, I wish I wasn't at it.
I never found it easy when I first realised I was colour blind. I couldnt train properly during soccer back in St. Pat's. I couldnt do my chemistry praticals properly. I couldnt design my D&T artefact without people having to help with pick the shades of brown and green. I couldnt read colour coding. I couldnt even tell the colour of my surroundings. Though its slightly better now, its still a struggle for me at times.
If only I didnt make it when I was born. For those of you who don't know, I almost never became the guy you know today because of some complications after I was born. I don't know whats God's plan for me. But I really do wish I never made it. I've always felt I was a nuisance since young and that mentality hasnt changed much.
I've always told myself to see the positives in life, but now I just can't feel the same emotions that pushed me to think positive. There's just so many things lacking in my life right now and I don't feel as if I'm equal to many of you. I just keep doubting myself, doubting my self confidence.
Maybe not being a part of you guys would make life easier for everyone. I screwed up in so many aspects already. Maybe thats best for everyone. I don't wanna be the fucker that breaks up everything you guys have. The feeling sucks so much I wish none of you ever got to know me in the first place.
I'm just so tired that I dont even know what I'm doing. I'm sorry I breached your trust. It was my mistake and it slipped my mind that you didnt tell him about it. I probably can't do anything to regain your trust now, and you've definately got the right to be pissed with me.
I dont want to wake up feeling this way, but I guess it isnt going to change at all.
These eyes, I wish I never had...
This life, I wish I never lived.