over and over again.

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Just in case you were wondering, the previous past was deleted because i felt i was too harsh. So yeah. This is what I have to say. First of all, don't think I don't know that everything isn't right. Right from day 1 I expeected this. Its a fact that has never been hidden. There is one thing which I really dont like about you and I will say this very crudely, straight to the point. I fucking hate the way you put down people and the way you criticise people. I'll be honest with you. Other than that I think you're a good friend. There's many things that accumulated over the past two years plus. I guess its in both you and me. We're similar in many ways and thats why we have so much tension. Its not as if I never tried to salvage our friendship. Its not easy and it will never be. Like you, I never wished to work with you at all. I never wanted to. But since we're in this together, we might as well work together. I'm still trying to make the best out of ...
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What does it mean to lose someone you love? What can it do to you? What can it make you feel? What can it make you think of? What meaning does it bring? Why must it happen? To consider the possibility of losing someone forever, is painful. It empties you, so much that you feel a part of you is missing. It feels like that part of you that you treasure so much is being torn away from you. Sometimes it is within your own means to take control of the situation, sometimes its not. How do you let go of something you have, yet at the same time, you know you cant have it because, you're just not ready. You fear for a lack of happiness, you fear for the lack of reciprocation. You fear for life. When it comes to life and death, how do you come to terms with it. You see him lying there, on the hospital bed, tubes in his throat and a life support machine. You may never be able to imagine the pain. As you stand by the bedside, you hold his hand. You feel the warmth, knowing there's life and...
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Who's your history maker? "Is it true today, that when people pray, cloudless skies will break, kings and queens will shake? Is it true today, that when people pray, we'll see dead men rise, and the blind set free? Yes its true, and I believe it. I'm living for you." How apt. I do believe. I believe in miracles. I believe in healing. I believe in faith. I believe in the purpose of life. I believe. I believe in HIM . The pain I feel, I cannot put into words. The sadness within me, its...indescribable. Yet, at the end of it all, I have hope. All because I believe. I believe he has a purpose, I believe he has a plan. Not just for me but for all of us. And in this time of pain and suffering, I believe that there is good that will come out of it. Should he leave us, it will give us a lesson to learn, should he make it through, it will bring faith to people. It will give hope, it will convert and I believe He is working wonders always, everywhere, for anyone. We live to...
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